Thoughts

Imagine waking up at two in the morning and choking on smoke. It's a burning, acidity smell, and it's so thick you start coughing. The house is filled with smoke and when you look out the window you notice the entire neighborhood is engulfed in it. What would you do? Most people would dial 911 and get out of the house. Or better yet, most should get out of the house FIRST and dial 911.

That reflex has been removed from my wife and I as it happens so many times in the summer that we rarely give it a second thought any more. We merely get up, close most of the windows, start a couple of exhaust fans in our two remaining open windows, and go back to bed.

The city of Seepy Eye banned burning garbage in town when I was a small child. Less than 5 years after that, it became illegal to burn leaves in the fall. The reason? Well the most obvious reason was the hideous choking smoke that went along with all of that burning of materials, especially in the fall.

Let's flash forward to modern America. One of the most heinous trends in recent history is the backyard fire pit. For some reason, the lesson of a generation ago has already been lost. The smoke that these things produce is enough to make neighbors want to kill their neighbors. (in self-defense of course, because the smoke they are delivering to us could be judged as attempted murder.)

Supposedly, these fire pits, which I shall now refer to as smoke pits, are regulated in such a way that folks don't have to worry about their use. The problem is that no body in our neighborhood follows any of the regulations relating to their use AND nobody (including the local police) takes the time to see that the regulations are being followed.

The rules are simple enough. The pit has to be off the ground, or if it's in the ground it has to have dirt or rocks surrounding it a good distance so that it can't accidently catch trees or grass on fire that are next to it. It also has to be a certain GOOD distance away from any permanent structures like garages, sheds, and houses. Other rules? Only wood can be burned in it. (No leaves or garbage) You must have someone in attendance at all times when you are using it, and (this is the biggy) you must extinguish it with water, completely and thoroughly, when you are done with it. I believe the ordinance mentions giving it a good soaking and staying with it awhile to make sure that all flames have been put out and that there is no lingering smoke.

So what do our neighbors do? And not just those who live right next to it, but within a couple of blocks of us. Most use it as a garbage burner throughout the year, and many burn their leaves in the fall. NONE of them have their burners more than a few feet from their garages or houses. Most leave them unattended frequently as they are going about their everyday tasks. (Sometimes forgetting about them completely as they drive off to run errands or visit.)

And RARELY, extremely rarely, does anyone put out the fire with a good soaking when they are done with it. Why? Because then it would take too much to start the fire again the NEXT night when they want to use it again. It won't light if its soaked from the previous night. Most just let their fires burn themselves out as they go to bed.

Now as anybody who reads this blog knows, I tend to exaggerate some to get my point across. The following stories are true and have happened in the last two years. The first one happened two nights ago. That was the 2 a.m. fire I talked about at the beginning of of this blog.

Another story? Our next door neighbor (at the time, she no longer lives there) would often get as drunk as she could and start a fire in her "makeshift" smoke pit. Some nights the flames from these fires would reach the bottom branches of her tree and start them on fire. This "pit" was basically just an open fire on the ground, about 5 feet from her garage.

She'd drink and sit next to it, getting up to dance once in awhile, and then leave it unattended as she went on another beer run into the house. We figured with all that beer she was also causing some long bathroom breaks, but there were long periods of time when she simply was not around. Now we're talking some serious flames here. She had dozens of wooden palettes that she acquired from work, and she put several on the fire every evening she had a fire. At the same time. The smoke produced was horribly thick, but the flames shooting into the air, into her tree and against the garage would have done many bon fire enthusiasts proud.

We didn't WANT to watch her do this every night, but figured it was an investment in protecting our house and our neighborhood. Finally, one night, we called the police. Her drunken fire had simply became too much of a neighborhood hazard.

They came. They talked to her. The flame was KIND of put out (it was still smoking and glowing) AND she had another huge illegal fire with beer a couple of nights later.  And several more every week as long as she lived there. Remember I said there ARE regulations but there really is no one to regulate them. This is my prime example. The police drive by our neighborhood several times an evening, but NO ONE ever stopped to talked to her again. They could see the same fires raging without a call to them. But they didn't want to be bothered with stopping her without another call of complaint.

And that's my biggest issue with the pits. They are dangerous. They are smelly. But no one wants to stop the really bad ones, let alone check on them once in awhile. As a result we have neighbors risking their property and the property of the neighborhood over senseless fires that serve no real purpose. And I'm still trying to figure out what kind of a health threat some of these more dangerous garbage fires are causing to my lungs. And the lungs of the elderly who live in our neighborhood.

In a society that's against pollution and global warming I can't image how much extra smoke is being produced across America by these millions and millions of fires every single week. And people are "worried" about coal burning plants and cars that don't get 35 mpg? These fires aren't a small contributer. They may very well be a major contributor to the overall problem.  Their are no filters. They can literally burn anything they want. AND it's open air burning, enough to make every neighborhood smell like like 1970's Los Angeles.

Worse? In the old days when we smelled smoke it was almost ALWAYS a house that really was on fire. Neighbors instantly looked out windows to make sure both they and their immediate neighbors were safe. That safeguard is now gone for everyone.

I can't help but think that the Bed and Breakfast that burned down in new Ulm last year could have been much less of a tragedy if people would have NOTICED the smoke instead of ignoring it thinking it was just another fire pit gone awry. You see, we've already been programed by these pits to think differently.

The solution? Ban the pits entirely. If you WANT a good campfire, go camping, and follow the rules there because they are enforced and you have less opportunity to be stupid.

But stop giving stupid people the right to be stupid with no restraint next to my house. What we are doing now isn't working and can't work because there is no way of having reasonable enforcement of regulations. In effect their is NO regulation, despite the ordinances on the books.

And that makes for very combustible situation.