Curling

I readily admit there is very little about the Winter Olympics that I find watchable.

There is just too much supposed sports where judging is deemed necessary. Even something like ski jumping has judges to determine the best jumper. Oddly enough, distance is no longer the sole determiner of who jumps the farthest. No, looking good matters, too, as if it's a red carpet event like the Oscars.

Most of the events are fun to watch in themselves, but they would be much more palatable if they were merely exhibitions. Figure skating is that way. The predetermined very best skaters are given a chance at the gold and silver medals, but those who are not favorites going in will not be given the best medals at the end. The best skater may have to wait until another world event or two to prove herself first. There's no way she'll win top honors as an unknown. There's a pecking order that makes it impossible to be considered. The skaters know this, the coaches know this, the judges know this.

That's just the way it is. If the judges really like a newcomer, they be given a chance to move up and rub elbows with the elite... next time.

And that's only one of things wrong. There are so many individual "sports" that require expert judges. Quick, name three team sports in the Winter Olympic Games.

Ice Hockey, curling and...

...yeah it's hard to find another one. And riding down an ice-packed hill wildly together doesn't count any more than a roller coster or floom ride. So that means almost all the sports require judging. I've said it often, if your sport requires a judge, you most likely aren't participating in a sport. Even UFC and boxing which has two combatants squaring off against each other requires judges. It didn't use to be that way. Guys are now trying to land more blows than to actually stop their opponents. They want to look pretty out there to impress judges. And judging doesn't determine clear winners. That's why there so much controversy at judged events. I'm not saying the participants aren't athletes. I'm saying that what they do isn't a real sport.

But back to the winter games...

Curling IS a sport. There are no judges and the competitors actually do something to try to win.

No one, as far as I can tell, knows exactly what that is except the competitors themselves, but viewers inexplicably seem to like it.

I'm not one of those viewers. It's one of the few sports that seem to have the opposite problem of most judged events. None of the competitors appear to be athletes.

I'm reasonably sure that anybody reading this could be a quick substitute for any one of the major Olympic team participants with just a couple weeks of basic training to learn what exactly it is they do. Eric the Vike Man. Cranky Curtis. Tom the Retired Twins Fan. Iron Myron, Super Steve. The Casually Observing Wife. The Casually Observing Twin. ALL of you could curl with the best of them.

I hate to rag on curling because its not the participants' fault they aren't athletes. It the very nature of the Winter theme of the games that's the problem.

I just know that the last Winter Olympic Games bragged about having 15,000 hours of coverage on the 9 different NBC sister channels 24 hours a day.

And every time I checked, every single channel had curling on, except NBC in prime time.

There they had judges JUDGING how pretty jumpers looked while going for distance while ski jumping.

We settle so easily.

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!